A Christmas To Forget and not Forget, My Venting Post

First I wanted to say Merry Christmas from my family to yours. Second I am sorry for most of this post I need to vent and I might sound like well Mrs Scrooge. I am missing my son because he is with his dad this year and after 7 years of him traveling and not having him every other year it does not get any easier. We did call him this morning so that helped. I have to say that this year was not a Christmas that I am used to. The whole season actually. I normally do so many things I didnt do this year. It was almost like another day and not really that special which honestly broke my heart. With my Dad's Aneurysm I just was stressed and worried and not in the "spirit" Then when he was recovering and things could be better they just were not. I didnt bake much this year, I didnt even get to make Santa cookies I had to steal some from my moms. I woke up a few days ago to go to the restroom at 3am and stepped in a puddle of water to my ankles. The house was flooded and we rent so not much I could do other then be at the mercy of my landlord. I had planned this week to wrap and bake and do all the things I love to do. But instead I spent the week pulling up wet carpet and moving all the furniture from four bedrooms into the kitchen and living room. It was a mess to say the least. My house was like that for three days. I am sorry but how can you bake when you cant see your kitchen floor let alone get in there. I had one little square on the couch that I was working 10 hour days from. I stayed awake for 24 hours because I was so determined to get my house back together before Christmas so my kids could enjoy the day. I didnt sleep and I worked and worked. Christmas Eve was here and I had not even wrapped family gifts. I made it to Christmas Eve Dinner with not an hour of sleep. So you can guess how much fun I was. I came home and stayed up more to wrap the rest of the gifts I had, but I fell asleep and my kids were up before me , meaning Santa didnt eat any cookies and Santa didnt put new gifts under the tree but left them in my room. I had to have them go back to sleep so I could try to pull something off. Oh the stories I had to make up this morning. Then there was getting out of bed. I was supposed to be up and ready to go to my grandfathers at 9am and I couldnt get out of bed. I was so sore and my hip hurt so bad I didnt think I could walk. I have never in my life that I can remember missed my Grandfather's breakfast. Wow it still bothering me now. Its a tradition I never miss and I missed it. The whole day has just been a blur of trying to smile for the kids and be jolly when really I want to rewind a week so I can do this right. And my Christmas list, well lets just say I can save it for next year. I know I sound like a immature cry baby right now, but that is how I feel. I promised myself I would be more honest with my blog and here I am being honest. I did get some money from Christmas from my husband and my wonderful parents but with me when you give me money guess where it goes? BILLS, and gifts for others and that sort of thing and how can I spend money from my parents when they surely need it much more then me right now, so really today was just another day. I know the idea is not the getting its the giving I am just bah hum bug so Merry Christmas to me as I just worked a zillion hours and now I have 2 hours to sleep (or better yet clean the house) and back to work it is for me another zillion hours. On the bright side because I do feel like Scrooge right now. I have to find a bright side and that is My Dad lived through an Aneurysm and I am very lucky to wish him Merry Christmas this year, and very lucky to get a hug from him and very lucky to tell him that while the carpet guys were replacing my carpet the smells in the house reminded me of him. He laid carpet my entire life as well as almost all of his. I have healthy kids and a roof over my head and I have food in my fridge. Those are my bright sides and I Cherish those things. I hope that you had a very Merry Christmas and I am sure that once I catch up on sleep I will not feel so grumpy. LOL

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